Tag: Self Confidence

Become What You Desire

Become What You Desire

I would like to share a powerful technique with you, something that can change EVERYTHING in a split second. It’s deceptively simple and it’s something you can do anywhere, at any time. It does take a bit of practice to fully master, but after only a few tries you should be an old pro at it.

What is this amazing technique? BECOME WHAT YOU DESIRE. If you desire to be confident, become confident. If you desire to be successful, become successful. If you desire to be wealthy, become wealthy.

You may be furrowing your brow, wondering what the heck I’m talking about. Isn’t this the old “act as if” technique? Like “fake it until you make it”? Not quite.

What I’m proposing is an actual mental SHIFT. Not faking,

becoming. It seems like the same thing, but it’s vastly different.

When you “fake” something, you are aware that you are faking

it. You are an actor playing a role. You are not “becoming”

something or someone else; you are simply pretending to be

something or someone else. Therefore, you are not fully

invested in the process; therefore you do not receive the full


Believe You Deserve More

Believe You Deserve More

Have you ever noticed that confident people are also certain of their own worth? Not only do they have the confidence to follow their dreams, they know with certainty that they deserve the good things they seek.

As you build your confidence and get reconnected with your inner self, your self-worth should begin to grow in proportion also. However, there are things you can do to help the process along.

As you build your confidence, you’ll notice your self-worth increasing also. As you focus on increasing your self-worth, your confidence will also grow. As you focus on expanding your vision, you’ll begin to believe in your capabilities more, and you’ll begin trusting yourself more, and you’ll feel a deeper connection to your inner self beginning to blossom – and on and on it goes! Doing any and all of these activities will result in growth and healing in the other areas too.


Trusting Yourself 

Trusting Yourself 

Trusting Yourself 

The exercises in the previous two sections were meant to help rebuild some trust in yourself again. When we fall out of touch with our inner selves, an unsettling sense of distrust begins to brew beneath the surface. We feel wary of this inner awareness, and think we know better about what is best for us (that’s the ego talking). Eventually we begin to ignore the hunches and gut feelings that would otherwise be a great asset in our lives. 

As you begin to spend more time with yourself and reconnect with your inner power, and as you begin to honestly assess your strengths and abilities, you begin to feel more in tune with your authentic self. Little by little you begin to trust her or him again, and rebuild the bonds that form a stable inner foundation. 

Over time, you realize that your inner self is not your enemy but your greatest ally. You begin to understand that any failures or blockages you experienced were a direct result of the disconnection from your inner self, and you commit to bridging the gap you created. 

Throughout this process you may face some challenges, scary moments when you aren’t sure if you can trust your inner self. 

Perhaps you’ll feel a nudge to move in a certain direction and then have doubts about whether it’s a genuine insight or wishful thinking. Or you might feel confused and scattered, still unsure what your inner self is trying to convey to you. 

The best way to overcome these initial challenges is to keep testing the strength of your connection. Start with something small, like asking your inner self to guide you in your decision- making during the upcoming day. Then as you are faced with choices during the day, pause for a moment and turn your attention inward as you consider your options. See if you feel any physical sensations about a particular choice. Does your gut tighten with anxiety when you consider making a move? Or do you feel an inner urging to choose a certain option? If you feel comfortable trusting these hunches, do so. You might be surprised by how accurate your initial hunches are. 

If you do experience problems when you trust your intuition, simply keep working at it. It may seem frightening at the beginning, but in very short order you should be feeling much more confident about making decisions, and you should notice that your choices are becoming wiser and more beneficial every day. 

Besides strengthening your natural inner guidance moment to moment, you should also focus on learning to trust your higher self to know what is best for you in the grand scheme of things. Too often we allow others to direct our lives because it’s easier than forging our own path. We’re afraid to upset someone, or offend them, or hurt their feelings, so we let go of controlling our own lives and let them do it for us. 

As well-intentioned as those people may be, they do not know better than we do what is best for us. The choices they make for us can be unfulfilling, misleading or downright dangerous. 

Make it your mission to trust your inner voice. Again, the more time you spend getting reacquainted with yourself, the more quickly you will gain a greater understanding of who you are and what you really want in your life. 

If you find yourself struggling to rebuild trust with your inner self, consider doing a simple exercise to get the ball rolling: Write a letter of apology to your inner self. 

An apology for what, you ask? If you’ve ever put yourself down because you weren’t good at something, or belittled yourself, berated yourself, or gotten angry at yourself; if you’ve ever insulted yourself or thought little of yourself, or called yourself “stupid,” or refused to honor yourself in any way, you have set a cycle of destruction in motion within yourself. 

Writing a letter of apology to your inner self can help reverse the process and get things moving in a positive, nurturing direction again. The letter doesn’t have to be long or painfully detailed, just sincere. Tell your inner self that you never meant to be so harsh, demanding, close-minded or impatient. Admit that you weren’t seeing the whole picture and you now realize that your actions created an inner divide. Most importantly, stress your commitment to doing better now. 

The point of this exercise isn’t to humiliate you or emphasize your “wrongdoing”. It’s to help you see that your inner self doesn’t deserve anger or abuse. Your inner self has been trying to reach out to you all along; you just weren’t willing to listen yet. Don’t be hard on yourself for this, for it’s something we all do to a certain degree. Just acknowledge that you are ready to begin changing your habits – and then do it.

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Affirming Your Abilities 

Affirming Your Abilities 

Affirming Your Abilities 

Now that you have a clear idea of your strengths, it’s time to begin affirming your abilities. This may seem like the same thing, but it’s quite different. Your strengths are things you are naturally good at, or have become good at. Your abilities are all about your POTENTIAL. 

One major step in building your confidence is becoming aware of your potential for growth. The exercise of writing down your strengths was a good start and likely gave you an insight into your capabilities. Now you need to explore these capabilities a bit further. 

Take another sheet of paper and write down everything you’ve ever attempted (not just succeeded at, but anything you’ve simply TRIED to do). Your list can include the obvious things like walking, cooking, driving, dancing, dating, eating, drinking, working, swimming, and so on. Also include the things you may have tried only once like skydiving, singing, marriage, business, and so on. 

After you’ve written down everything you can think of, look over your list and make a checkmark next to the things in which you’ve experienced success. Even if you were only slightly successful at something, or you only tried it once and it wasn’t a complete disaster, check it. 

(NOTE: Did you know that one definition of success is “a favorable result”? That insight changes your perspective a little, doesn’t it? You’ve probably been successful more than you realized.) 

Now look at your list again. Are the majority of the items on the list checked? I bet they are. Why do you think that’s important? Because it means that simply TRYING something (once or more than once) will result in a certain measure of success. It means you’re not as stupid or ineffective as you may have thought. If you were even moderately successful at the items on your list, doesn’t it follow that you could be successful at other things too? When you really get this, it’s a HUGE insight. 

Now – what if you only have a couple of items checked off, and the rest are unchecked? 

First, reconsider whether you are being too hard on yourself. Is your concept of success in balance? Success doesn’t have to mean perfection. If you were able to do well at something (even slightly well), or receive any kind of favorable result from it – that is success! 

Let’s expand a bit on what is meant by “favorable result”. This doesn’t have to be exclusive to external results. It can absolutely include favorable internal results. Here’s a good example of a favorable internal result: Let’s say you had to give a presentation at work and you were terrified of public speaking. You knew you couldn’t back out of giving the presentation, so you forced yourself to do it. Even if you completely bombed and the presentation was terrible, you would still probably feel a sense of pride that you did it at all! Facing a fear is absolutely a favorable result! 

Secondly, understand that the number of items checked off on your list doesn’t matter a bit. Even if you only have one item checked off, it still stands to reason that if you were successful at ONE THING, you can be successful at others. 

Honoring Your Strengths 

Honoring Your Strengths 

Honoring Your Strengths 

The more aware of your inner self you are, the more easily you’ll be able to recognize and honor your strengths. By “strengths” I mean the things you are naturally good at, or you’ve become good at through repetition. 

Honoring your strengths is an important part of building your confidence, because your confidence is often based on your perception of your capabilities. If you believe you’re good at communication, you will approach all communication with a high level of confidence. If you believe you stink at athletics, you’ll give them less effort because deep inside you’ll have a little voice telling you not to bother. 

Recognizing your strengths can be challenging if you don’t already have strong self-confidence, because your belief in your abilities is likely low. Even if you do have talent in a certain area, you may not believe you do – so you won’t see it as an asset. What you need to do is start small. 

First, get a clean sheet of paper and a pen, and begin by writing down anything you think you may be naturally good at. Don’t worry if you’re not great at it, just focus on things you can do marginally well for now. List things that seem to come easily to you, or things you feel pretty confident doing. (Examples: sports, organization, writing, event planning, photography, computer gaming, etc.) 

Next, write down anything you’ve become somewhat experienced in, like things you’ve had to do in your job, or activities you’ve gained a certain level of mastery over. (Examples: driving, accounting, dancing, juggling, salesmanship, customer service, etc.) 

Are you surprised that your list isn’t as empty as you feared? It’s going to get better! 

Now, write down your positive character traits, things you believe yourself to be. (Examples: kind, friendly, loving, trusting, patient, etc.) 

Look back over your list for a moment. Pay particular attention to the activities you’ve mastered as you did them over and over. 

Here’s the million-dollar question: If you were capable of learning and excelling at these activities, aren’t you capable of mastering others too? Of course you are! 

Are you feeling a bit more optimistic about your potential now? Are you beginning to see that by expanding your beliefs and honoring your strengths, you can achieve nearly anything you desire? 

As you get into the habit of honoring your strengths and stretching your limits, little by little your confidence will begin to grow. Eventually the process becomes much easier, because the more confidence you have, the more quickly you can build more.